Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The F Word

     265 lbs. That's... wow, that's really something. That something, boys and girls, is fat. Great fleshy mounds of fat that jiggle uncomfortably when I move. That's 75 lbs in the last year. I'm at a loss to explain how this massive weight gain occurred, other than that when I recommenced eating I apparently didn't stop. I tried the Atkins thing but didn't stick with it, gaining more weight than I started out with. Now I'm doing the vegetarian thing and trying to stick to that, despite some holiday-time miscategorization of what was blatantly ham and not free-range tofurkey. The point of going vegetarian wasn't necessarily weight loss, so I suppose I can't complain that I stay the same weight. But I admit frustration. All the vegetarians I've known have been a healthy weight or underweight. I did think weight loss would be a welcome byproduct.
     All is not mystery, though. When I lived at the park and then the shelter, I walked everywhere, several miles a day. Now, I have a bus pass. Also, most of my snacking is processed grains, empty carbs I'm obviously not using and totally devoid of nutrition. What I need to change if I truly want to change is obvious. More activity, more conscious eating habits. But whether I follow through remains to be seen. That's as close to a resolution as I'll allow myself to get, rededication to a process instead of some far off goal I'll likely abandon. Wish me luck.

1 comment:

  1. You have all my best wishes as a fellow struggling traveler on the journey. I don't know that I will ever understand why a healthy relationship alludes me, but it always has. Even after losing 120 pounds and knowing first hand how good it feels to take care of yourself (I've been a vegetarian now for almost 3 years) I still find myself going up....and down.....and up again. Damn the potato and its myriad of unhealthy but delicious preparations. If only that single tuberous vegetable were to blame. If you find the secret to lasting change, please let me know.

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